Ranger Walker Facts...!

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a Delta Force marathon on Satellite TV.

Chuck is so damned hard, kids roller skate on him. (Tracy)

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Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.

Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you fool."

When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.

The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.

Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.

Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.

Children are afraid of the dark. Dark is afraid of Mr. T.

Mr. T and Chuck Norris decided to spar, they traveled to the only safe place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang.

Mr. T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr. T in the chest. The result was the 80's.

Mr. T doesn't breathe, air just hides in his lungs for protection.

Mr. T's chains are not made of gold, they are actually made of curium, one of the heaviest elements in existence. They were put there by the CIA to slow him down, and you're lucky they do, fool.

Human females have two X-chromosomes. Males have an X and a Y. Mr. T has three Ys and a T. He's more man than you'll ever be.

5 out of 5 doctors recommend not pissing off Mr. T.

When creating the alphabet, Mr. T placed the letters M, R, and T in separate areas so people could learn to read and spell without fear.

Mr. T is the reason the sky is blue. Don't ask stupid questions.

Mr. T once ate four 72-oz. steaks in 12 minutes. He spent the first 5 minutes laughing at the fact it takes Chuck Norris fifteen minutes to eat three.

Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.

Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.

23. That's the number of fools Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.

When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.

Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.

On the A-team, Face, Hannibal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr. T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.

Mr. T always drives on the right side of the road, no matter where he is in the world.

Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.

There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.

Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.

Mr. T does not actually pity fools. He is just being sarcastic. No one has noticed because it is difficult to pick up such subtleties while being bludgeoned.

Gravity doesn’t exist. Mr. T just pities everything to stay down. Birds and planes are exempt because they are shaped like Ts.

Mr. T was once involved in a head-on car crash, and he was the only survivor. Mr. T was walking at the time.

Mr. T once traveled back in time in a telephone booth similar to the one in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure and killed every Jester and Joker in every King's court, because he pitied those fools.

Mr. T's Mohawk is so scared of Mr. T that it started running to his beard for help.

Mr. T's feather earrings are actually feathers from a foolish bird that he pitied.

When Mr. T poops, the earth quakes. (Tracy)

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Please play-along by adding your own as I did.

MR. T PITIES THE FOOL WHO DON'T PLAY-ALONG....HA!